I’ve been asked a few times recently, “So, will you have more kids?” and my answer is an unwavering yes. Jacob has only solidified my desire for a big family. Then comes the inevitable follow up, “When will you have the next one?” … and the answer to that isn’t so certain.
My brother and I are 18 months apart. Pro: We were each other’s playmate, having lots in common over the years as we grew up together. Con: We were always in the same schools and sometimes shared social circles, which caused rivalries over the years, naturally.
Husband has four siblings, his oldest brother is 17 years his senior. The next brother nine years older, his sister is four years ahead and he also has a twin. Pro of older siblings: He had role models to look up to. Con: The oldest brothers were moved out before he was out of elementary school, so there was a lot less time spent bonding under one roof together.
We’ve always imagined having our kids close together — so when we decide that we’re finished having kids, we’ll also be finished with diapers and strollers and bottles all at the same time, rather than spreading it over many years.
That still doesn’t really help us decide how far apart our kids should be. When I respond to these questions, I usually say “it depends” … on where Husband will be teaching next year, on where I will be working after maternity leave, on if we’re going to stay put in our current home for a while.
When we decided to try to get pregnant the first time, it just felt right. We’d been married more than a year and we had talked about starting our family off and on. Then, one day, the subject came up and we just knew. It was time.
I’ve been thinking about the next little one a lot lately. It’s not that I’m in a rush to conceive again — frankly, I’m just getting used to having my body back. It’s just that motherhood is exactly what I hoped it would be and more, which makes me all the more excited to experience the process again.
So, how does it work the second time around? Do you get that feeling that the time is right, or when there’s already one child involved does decision for the second becomes more about practicality?